Complaint department - please, take a number
Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice
Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save
money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway
Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay
the "stray" in your yard
Press 4 if you have a 10 year old dog and your 15 year old son has
suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right
away
Press 5 if you have 3 dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your
dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and
dogs at the same time
Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for
your vacation
Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having
problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away
Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and
cute and you want to trade him for a new model
Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not
active and is going to outlive you
Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for
their elderly pet because it doesn't fit your lifestyle
Press 11 if you are moving today and need to place your 150lb eight
year old dog
Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today
and pick up the dog you no longer want
Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the
last 3 years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog
Press 14 if you are calling at 6am to make sure you wake us up before
we go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work
Press 15 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to
take the dog you have had for 15 years because it is not our
responsibility
Press 16 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to
be euthanized because we won't take it
Press 17 if you are going to get angry because the volunteers had the
audacity to go on vacation and leave the phone work to a trusted
volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet
Press 18 if you want one of the perfectly trained housebroken, kid
friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have in abundance
Press 19 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression
problem, ie has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbour's
cats.
Press 20 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board
your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of
course.
Press 21 if you are lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel
bad and take your personal pet off your hands
Press 22 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house
but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered
Press 23 if you previously had an outdoor dog and are calling because
she is pregnant
Press 24 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have
had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel
Press 25 if you left your work only phone number and are angry because
our volunteers who also work were unable to call you back
Press 26 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today
is your daughter's birthday and you forget when she was born
Press 27 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid
to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month
anyway) instead of the dog
Press 28 if you went thru all these "presses" and didn't hear enough.
This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one
of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog, dying of grief
because he misses his family.
Thank you for your support, and we look forward to hearing from you!
